For women who know they’re pregnant, about 10 to 15 in 100 pregnancies (10 to 15 percent) end in miscarriage. Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester before the 12th week of pregnancy. Miscarriage in the second trimester (between 13 and 19 weeks) happens in 1 to 5 in 100 (1 to 5 percent) pregnancies.
Growing up things were different, I was young and didn’t have friends who were pregnant and we didn’t have social, so unless someone called and told you the news or you saw them in the local grocery, you hardly ever heard about women having miscarriages or a chemical pregnancy. People didn’t talk about it a lot either. I think the first time I ever heard about a miscarriage was when my mom lost my brother’s twin.
It wasn’t until I was older and my friends started having babies that I really realized how many women have miscarriages. I have never lost a baby after the 6 weeks mark, but I have had 2 chemical pregnancies. While I was going through them, I did a lot of googling and couldn’t find much information on them. I thought I would share my experiences with the hopes that women will read this and know they are not alone.
A chemical pregnancy is a term used to describe a very early miscarriage which occurs before the fifth week of gestation and well before the fetus can be visibly detected on an ultrasound. A chemical pregnancy is believed to affect as many as 75 percent of pregnancies that end in miscarriage.
In 2008 when I had my first chemical pregnancy, I didn’t tell too many people. It seemed when I told a couple of people, they looked at me like I was crazy. I believe that life starts at conception, therefore I believe I had a little person growing inside me even if it was just the beginning stage of growth and was chemicals.
I remember grabbing a digital pregnancy test, dipping it in my pee, setting it on the counter and walking away. I didn’t believe it would be positive, but I felt a little off so I decided to test. You can imagine my shock when I walked back into the bathroom and saw the words
on the stick. I ran to show my husband and we were both in shock. I wasn’t ready to have another baby, my first born was only 7 months old at the time!! I spent the next couple of days in disbelief. Then came to harsh reality…. a day after my missed period, I miscarried. I have always felt guilty in some way because I was not wanting to have another baby made me miscarry. I know that is not why I lost my baby, but I think that thought will always stay inside me. A year later I gave birth to my second daughter. I know that I wouldn’t have her if I hadn’t had a miscarriage. Things happen for a reason and are not in my control.
The second time I had a chemical pregnancy was in 2016 a month before I got pregnant with my 4th child. We were trying to conceive, so I started testing at 10po. At 12po I got a faint positive line in the morning and when I tested at night, the line was still there but hadn’t gotten any darker. I tested the next morning and night and the line began to fade. I knew exactly was happening, but I hoped deep down that it was an issue with the pregnancy test and not me. I ended my miscarrying a couple of days later. Thankfully the next month I got another pregnancy test and that one continued to get darker each day. My daughter is now a healthy 2-year-old.
You’re Not Alone
If you have ever gone through chemical pregnancy please know that you are not alone and yes you were pregnant and yes you had a miscarrage. Please don’t let anyone take that away from you.